


(I Don't Want Your) Photograph

by LuthienLuinwe



Series: Batfam Bingo 2019 [2]
Category: DCU, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Grief, M/M, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 10:18:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18386453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuthienLuinwe/pseuds/LuthienLuinwe
Summary: He had a photograph.One stupid, little photograph.And it wasn’t enough.For the "Lonely" Batfam Bingo square.





	(I Don't Want Your) Photograph

One picture. That was all Jason had of Roy. One stupid picture. Sure, he could have asked Ollie or Dinah for more. He didn’t doubt they had more. But it wouldn’t be the same. They wouldn’t be his. One picture. One stupid, little picture.

Kory had taken it when she had thought Jason and Roy weren’t paying attention. Jason had begged and pleaded with her to delete it. He’d always hated how he looked from behind a camera lense. But she hadn't listen, and God, he was glad she hadn't listened because if she had… He wouldn’t even have that one stupid picture.

It had been taken at one of their safehouses. It was too dark and industrial to have been at the island, he was sure of that. 

If he zoomed in, he could see rain from behind the window in the background, not that it helped him figure out which place they had been in. Honestly, it was a miracle Gotham and Star City weren’t constantly flooded. 

It was amazing, the tiny details he remembered.

It had been raining the night his world had come crashing down around him.

_ “Hello?” Jason asked groggily, pulling the apartment door open and frowning when he saw a man clad in a dark blue uniform standing in front of him. Jason had seen the flashing lights down on the street level, blinding blue and red shining through the rain that hadn't let up for days. _

_ “Is this the residence of Roy Harper?” _

_ Jason frowned, allowed himself to wonder what the hell was going on. Why was a policeman at his door asking about Roy? Sure it was late, but Roy was almost never on time. Jason didn’t expect to see the redhead again until morning, hell, maybe even early afternoon.  _

_ Did Roy get arrested? _

_ Were they trying to pick him up on a warrant Jason didn’t know about? _

_ But that was stupid. Roy had sworn of drugs and booze and no way in hell had anyone connected him to Arsenal, at least as far as Jason knew. _

_ That would have been all over the media… right? _

_ “Uh… yeah,” Jason nodded after a moment and ran a nervous hand through his hair. “Yeah. We live here together. I’m his boyfriend…” _

It was a stupid picture, really. Any basic couple probably had one just like it. Jason was sprawled out on the couch, taking up more room than he had a right to. One hand was holding his phone, and the other was tangled in Roy’s hair. Roy, who had been sitting in front of the couch, head leaned back against the seat cushions. 

An open how-to manual lay face-down beside the redhead. If the camera had been better quality, Jason would have been able to zoom in and see what it was. 

_ “There’s been an incident…” _

Sometimes it was easy to forget.

To pretend.

He would wake up after a night of tossing and turning, and no one would be beside him, and Jason would tell himself that Roy had gone to the office early to get a head start on whatever project it was that he and Ollie were working on. 

Roy would have tried to explain the project to Jason a hundred times, and Jason would have just smiled and nodded and pretended to understand because Roy always looked so damned happy whenever he was talking one of his projects.

Jason would have sold his soul to keep Roy that happy forever.

But then he would get out of bed. And then he’d step into the bathroom that had once been theirs. And Roy’s toothbrush would be dry, and his towel still folded over the bar next to the shower where Jason had put it the morning of the day he’d died, and his hair products would still be safely secured in the cabinet instead of strewn across the counter even though Jason had told him thousands of times to put his things away when he was done using them.

_ “...very sorry…” _

_ “...nothing anyone could have done…” _

_ “...dead before he hit the ground…” _

Sometimes, when he was trying his damndest to sleep, and sleep wouldn’t come, Jason would pull that stupid photograph out of the bedside drawer and hold it close to his heart, part of him worried he would tear it, bend it, ruin it, part of him never wanting to let it go.

It wasn’t fair.

This wasn’t how things were supposed to go.

But when had life ever treated him fairly?

He had gone to ID the body. He’d been escorted to the basement of the hospital and he had watched as the mortician opened up a vault and pulled out a metal surface with a body covered in a white sheet lying on top of it, and Jason had stood watching, waiting, arms wrapped tightly around himself as the same mortician pulled the sheet down so Jason could see the body’s face.

Roy’s eyes were closed. His body had already gone pale and rigid, but his face looked… almost relaxed. He could have been sleeping, were it not for the tell-tale bullet hole right in his left temple. 

_ “It’s him. That’s Roy.” _

Just that morning, they’d been entwined in each other’s arms. Roy had cracked a stupid joke, and Jason had laughed and rolled his eyes even though it hadn't been that funny. Roy had kissed him on the forehead and left for work, and Jason had muttered a soft ‘I love you,’ before going back to sleep.

_ “Is this the residence of Roy Harper?” _

He didn’t want to remember the body he’d seen. He didn’t want to remember Roy, pale as a ghost and all too still, not smiling, not laughing, not breathing…

He had a photograph.

One stupid, little photograph.

And it wasn’t enough.


End file.
